One of My Reasons

Sometimes these two cute little guys drive me nuts.

Sometimes they trigger my startle response with PTSD

Sometimes I don't know what to do with them.

Sometimes I want to kiss and snug them ALL over.

And other times I simply want them to behave

But all in all....

They help me be a better human.

ptsd and depression have added a great struggle to my life.

and even though sometimes they take all the patience I think I have in my body.....

They really do help me.

They give me a reason to get out of bed when I'm struggling with a hard anniversary.

They kiss my tears away when I cry....

They are almost always up for hopping in my bed and crawling under the covers on a cold morning.

.....and they are always up for creating more laundry that makes me productive....

It's never ending!

Frustrations.....

Is it too much to ask for a clean house?

I know, I know, People tell me that I have little kids and expect to have a 'lived in' house. Well I'm not such a fan of that, and right now I'm frustrated. It seems like all day long I am cleaning and picking up messes, but at the end of the day the house looks worse than when I started.

Oh.....

Don't get me wrong.....the floors were mopped, and the carpets vacuumed...

And even the couters were wiped down (several times)

But as I sit here typing at 730 pm (because I have put the children to bed early)

I look around at the laundry that is piled 6 loads high on my couch, the dishes that never got unloaded (not to mention the dinner dishes that are still in the sink)

And I'm EXHAUSTED.

And I don't like to be grumpy,



But tonight I am.....








Maybe I will go imerse myself in a good book, or prayer, or meditation.....or maybe an early bedtime because I'm beat

That can't be comfortable!

So I just went in to kiss my kids and whisper positive things in their ears as they slept.

Definitely didn't expect to see my oldest half falling out of bed.

Good night! That can't be comfortable!

So I gingerly put him back under the covers and laid his head on a pillow.

I'm a big fan.

In fact I love love love pillows.

I have lots of them.

Oh....

and PS Loo.....

I found those two pillows I accused you of stealing

(they were on the top shelf of the kids closet)

Sorry :(

Magical Moments

.....and I was truly happy