Light, or no Light? That is the Question.

How do you like to sleep?

I prefer dark.

In the dark you are alone.

There are no shadows to send a chill up your spine.

Night light? No thank you! To many shadows…

The Attic

The attic in my parents house holds many treasures.

We may tease Mom about hoarding, but I had no idea how many happy memories could come from a box.

Toys trigger memories of playing with my siblings. Some of my favorites were the Magic Nursery Dolls. Gifts that were given by my paternal Grandmother, who died when I was thirteen.

My heart lit up to remember the days before the Nintendo and other electronic entertainment; when the parents still had a 12 inch black and white TV with bunny ears.

As a small child I was given a Fisher-Price MEDICAL KIT.

(They still make them and they are quite similar.)

I thought that I had worn that thing out.

Somehow it survived the countless hours of check ups I performed on my sibling, the toys, and even myself.

It was my first interest in the medical profession. In kindergarten I had hoped to grow up and become a ballerina. But second to that I knew I wanted to be a Doctor!

No wonder I ended up a medic in the Army.

Remember

Memorial Day was always a fun time for me growing up.

 We would drive over the river and through the woods to my Grandmothers house.  We picked fresh peonies and snowballs and took them to the Elysian Gardens Cemetery where our ancestors were laid to rest.
We would lay our flowers and run through the graves and play with siblings as Grandma told stories of the dear relations who had passed on.
Stories of faith, of struggle, and most importantly love.
Grandma always had something good to say about everyone.
We knew that when Grandpa died he would get a special flag on his grave site because of his service in World War II.

 It wasn't until I got older that I learned that Memorial Day was a special time for remembering the men and women who have died in war.

Today was my first day visiting a military cemetery after discharging from the army.

It was beautiful to walk the rows, see the flags waving and read the headstones.

Everything about it is so uniform, so perfect, so honoring.

Memorial Day tends to be a hard day for me emotionally.

The whys and what ifs enter my mind,

But today I want to honor the memory.

No more tears (I HOPE)

Just remembering and honoring.

I can be angry another day. 

After I got back from Iraq I was tasked with playing the bugle at military funerals.

For several months I traveled all across Texas to participate in the ceremony with the flag, rifles and my favorite TAPS.

And I would think to myself....

Why do they make the tender-hearted one go to all of these funerals.

It was hard,

but it was also an honor.

 Today as I was getting ready to leave I noticed a mother with her two young girls walking passed.

 I overheard the mother say, "Come on girls, let's go see Daddy!"

It was so tender to think of them coming to visit their Daddy.

I'm so glad that I have two little ones who would come to visit if it were me.

Love to all.

Condolences to all who have lost.

And a prayer for peace, hope, and healing in the many hard days to come.

I love you!

I could really go for some TAPS right now.

I love the music,

It is filled with emotion and so many memories.



Give a Boy His Bear

 I love watching little boy's play

(as long as it's not destructive)

ok and maybe sometimes when you are destroying things

I was pondering on what I wanted to share with you, my readers,

So I decided to scan through some old pictures from January 2010.

I have been sick in bed for like 5 days now.

I am missing my little 'Bug' and my little 'Bear'

I have had lots of snugs,

but I miss my little ones.

I'm ready for you to come home my dears. 

Less time constraints,

and more creativity.

(maybe not the most humane way to treat a bear, but hey, he went along for the ride)

 Bear named this little girl Rawry Tayney.

It's fun for me to watch them discover some of the softer things in life.

Like taking care of a bear.

Don't get me wrong...

that bear will fly and be sliced with the blades of the ceiling fan,

that bear will be dropped and used as a weapon, or whatever else little boys come up with.

but when they are gentle...

it's tender to my heart. 

and most of all

I want to show them that they are LOVED!

and hopefully

(cross my fingers and close my eyes tight as I wish for a dream to come true)

They will be able to take that safe and secure love and share it with others.

See You tomorrow my little ones!

I have missed you.