Yeah, so I've never lived in an apartment before.
Ok, technically I have, because I lived in one with my parents when I was like 2 or 3.
And I lived on the futon in my friends 1 bedroom when I was pregnant with Bug and still in the Army.
But I don't think those really count.
Because today I am living in a real bonafied apartment. And it's mine.
And let me tell you something about apartments.
They aren't very kind to ptsd.
Privacy-No
Security-hmmmm not so much
Weird noises-Check
Strange lighting-Check
Unknown neighbors-Check
The list could go on and on.
I have a feeling that apartment living may be challenging and healing.
Because I have to Change
Adapt
and
Grow
(ME)
Here's hoping for the Healing option!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! I totally hear you on the PTSD/apartment thing. I hope you are dealing with it well. It totally blocked my healing; after 3 yrs I gave up and moved in with my Mom. Luckily Mom's is decent-sized (so we're not on top of each other driving each other crazy), Mom has been my #1 supporter, and the house is a Safe Place. Whew. =) I am still healing in BABY STEPS (arrrrrrrgh, I wish it was faster!!!!) but my "baseline" has improved simply because I am living in a Safe Place now. I still have some of the same creepy fears but they are not as much in the forefront and constant panic-inducing like I had at the apartment.
ReplyDeleteI could write a book on this. I should write a book on this. Maybe it would make other people feel better knowing that someone else felt the same way and they aren't crazy!! 'cuz I sure as hell felt completely nuts. :(
Thank you for writing this blog. You've made me feel validated and more legitimate, even though I can't DO much of anything in mainstream society terms... at least it's not just me!!
I'm sorry to be posting this anonymously, but it's my PTSD/not wanting to be "found" that is keeping me from sharing my name & URL. A person could run a WHOIS on the domain, run a background check to find my previous addresses, and ta-da...... *sigh* Fun times.
Kaybee :)
I'm not very tech savvy, so I probably won't know who you are.
ReplyDeleteThank You for posting a coment. I'm glad to know that someone with ptsd reads my blog. I will try to post more frequently. I'm so glad that you are taking baby steps to recovery. If you would like any tips you can email me at ptsdjourney@gmail.com