Compassion

yeah, so I grabbed an audio book from the library on Tuesday, It is called the five people you meet in heaven. If you have ptsd I do not suggest reading this book. The message of the book was spectacular, but the war stuff brought back too many bad memories. This may have been due to the added musical effects from listening to it on CD. All in all, I wish the author all the best, but wouldn't suggest this particular book to people in the beginning stages of ptsd recovery(survival).

There is a part in the book where the main character uses a stone to wash the burned skin of a small girl, who was a casualty of war. (the setting takes place in heaven) It was graphic, and I didn't want to listen, but at the same time I didn't want to turn it off. I wanted a happy ending even thought it was so hard for me to get there. Some of my war trauma is related to people who had been badly burned. I thought of people I encountered who died from their burns and how I think it would be healing to symbolically cleaning their charred flesh until it shown like new.

For a long time I wished that there was something I could do for those who crossed my path who suffered and died in pain. I wish so badly that I could somehow do something for those people.

My memories of burns was re ignited a few years ago when a friend of mine was terribly burned in an airplane crash. Her tragedy opened a door to my memories that I thought was only there if I wanted it to be there. My heart plummeted when I heard that she had been burned over 80% of her body. My mind thought, "oh, my goodness, I totally know what that looks like." I felt light headed, and like I couldn't breath. In a waterfall full of past emotions I felt as though I was somehow drowning in the sorrows of war. I was angry. And underneath anger was sorrow, and under sorrow was fear, helplessness and a host of other emotions.

She survived.

and is still healing.

She writes an awesome blog called the NieNie Dialogues. It has been so wonderful to watch her heal. I wish her all the love in the world. Her story has been amazing.



For any of the the patients who died....
I know that you are gone, but I want you to know that I cared.
I may not have been able to do anything, but your presence left a memory in my heart. And I hope you have....

~Peace