The Two Week Torture

Every two weeks I embark on a journey.

This journey is to rid my upper lip of unwanted hair.

(I call him Pierre)

Ever since I can remember, I have sported the STACHE

(eww yuck)

It's not so bad if you have light colored hair.

But since mine is so dark....

It's disastrous.

Oh come on.

Don't tell me you haven't seen that old woman walking around sporting the stache.

Well that's definitely not going to be me.

I take care of mine every two weeks.

I also have a few black hairs that sprout out of my chin every now and again that I get with the tweezers.

(those little buggers are stubborn)

When I was pregnant with my boys, there was so much more testosterone floating around in my body that I had to take care of those chin hairs regularly!!!

(the joys of Pregnancy)

Oh come on....

Don't be grossed out.

ALL women have body hair in unwanted places!

Some just take care of it better than others.

As a teenager going through puberty my mom advised to just pluck them.

Ouch!

Yikes!

They were only dark on the edges, but still.

I have found a much better way of taking care of Pierre.

WAX!

I use GiGi Creme wax that you can Nuke in the mi-cronic-wave

It's lasted me forever.

I bought it at Sally's

This is where it goes...
Right over Pierre.

It's a lovely shade of soft pink.
(probably trying to trick you away from the pain)



Oh boy... because the pain comes.


And with one fell swoop!

half of Pierre is gone!



Check out that suckah!
I'm free for two more weeks

And now both sides of Pierre are gone.

Mostly

The wax doesn't always grab all the hairs, but I take care of the rest

with

TWEEZERS

Can't get away from a little tweezing

See?

So fresh and so clean clean!

(kissably kleen)

hint hint

But before any smooching....

I apply ALOE Lotion

No! this isn't one of those fake milk mustaches,

This is tingly lotion that smells like

Yellow Starburst!
It takes away the inflamed-skin-RED-Pierre

that shows up in its place!

And don't forget the much needed baby oil.

Baby oil is great for removing unwanted wax.

No one wants a sticky face after waxing.

Ahhh....

All done! and I look great!

Oh wait....

I forget that in two weeks I have to do it again.

When will I be able to afford laser hair removal?

Who knows.

Maybe never.

I hope it's not never

because...

I don't want to end up looking like this

(after a sandstorm, I'm covered with sand March 2003)

Riding on a Bradley

(definitely don't want to sport a stache like that)

Or even worse like that!

But what's a girl gonna do if she is 1/2 a world away with no wax.

You wanna know what I did.

......I shaved Pierre

Sick Huh!

Actually when I was in Kuwait and Iraq,

I decided to try growing out my armpit hair.

That was interesting.

It got pretty long,

But in the end.

I decided that I don't think I have any french in me,

And decided

that the pit hair had to

GO

Until next time....